https://youtu.be/xMk_CsEQBwo
Owning the Relationship. Okay guys this is what I want to
talk about. So the title of this episode is going to be Own the Relationship.
And I want you to understand that. That every time you’re talking to somebody,
think of every person that you have met, think of every person that you know of
right now and I want you to understand that you need to take ownership of the
relationship.
Here’s what I mean, so have you guys ever heard that
marriage is a 50:50 thing? I’ll tell you right now, the reason if you go into
marriage thinking it’s 50% me, 50% my spouse. That is going to lead to divorce.
That’s just the way it works. What is the divorce rate right now? It’s a little
over 50% in the United States. So what does that tell you? It tells you that if
you don’t put in your part, I have a reason to leave. This is all going to be
about sales but I do believe that a lot of people out there are dependent up
on relationship selling. They are out there trying to sell
based off a relationship that they have. Now I’m going to tell you that most of
the time that’s not the case with me. I prefer to challenge my client and my
prospect into a discussion about what they need and why is my product the right
one, and if it’s not I’ll tell them. The only reason I’m not a huge fan of
relationship selling is that relationship selling requires one thing that I
don’t have a lot of and that’s time. So if I don’t have a lot of time, but I’m
requiring the relationship to be built, then it’s going to mean I have sales
down the road and that’s why a lot of people who have started in sales and then
bailed out of sales, but after they’ve left the company is when people start
calling back because they’re going, hey I kind of missed that person and I want
to talk to them to see if maybe we can do business. And then the sales person
that stuck it out is the one that’s still there going, oh okay I’m here, so
let’s talk about it. And then what does that customer need to do? He need to
start a new relationship. So you have a choice.
You can sit back and say am I going to be a relationship
seller? Yeah you probably can and you will be successful in a long run.
Somebody who’s more of a hard worker is just going to jump in there and dial,
dial, dial and look for low hanging fruit and they can be successful quickly
but not long term because the only way they make more money is to do more
effort and you’re going to run out of that same thing which is time. And you’re
going to get tired and you’re going to get burnt out. And burnt out is another
topic we have here in the podcast for you look at. But I want you to understand
that there is a benefit to selling with the relationship if you own the
relationship. Own every relationship that’s around you.
So go back to that 50:50 with your spouse. You want to be
successful? You flip that around and say it’s 90:10. 90 me, 10% my spouse. So
if you sit back and go, okay 90% of it is me. Do you realize it’s very little?
They need to contribute because I’m going to own 90% of us getting along, us
communicating, us having the right money in the bank, us having everything that
we want, the vacation fund, the right cable bill or if I’ve got satellite.
Whatever it is, I’m going to own all of the parts of our relationship that we
need to worry about so that the household gels and as a couple, we work. I’m
going to own that relationship. So if it’s 90:10, then you’re never upset with
that person not meeting you halfway.
Now here’s the success part, both of you own 90%. As soon as
both of you say I own 90% of this relationship and I’m responsible for it,
everybody is over delivering. That’s how things succeed. So I need you to start
and realize you own 90% of all your relationships with your clients, with all
your prospects. You own 90%, 90:10. They only got to contribute 10. I know some
of you will sit back right now and go, wow I have some pretty successful
relationships with my prospects because they’re not even… if I’m lucky to get
10%, that’s great. So when they hit 10% they’re actually engaging. And I want
you to understand that. I want you to say to yourself you own the relationship.
So if I own the relationship with my prospect, what do I
own? I own their understanding of what it is I’m saying. So that’s a big key
point. I want you to understand that. I need you to accept full responsibility,
not blame. Full responsibility for them understanding what your point is, what
your product is and what it is you’re trying to move across. So there are times
that in relationships in and out of a sale. But if you have a spouse you have
to try to sell. Let’s be real. When you stop and realize that I’m giving all
this effort, I’m giving all this effort but I’m hitting the wall. And quite
often it’s because you’re communicating the way you want to. What does that
mean to you? You sit down and go, okay well if I think I need to see this or
see that, or I need to show you this and show you that, but the person is
listening to the words you’re saying and the words you’re saying are not
contextually in the right spot, and they can’t hear you.
So stop and realize, are they visual, are they an auditory
or are they a kinesthetic learner? Because if they’re a kinesthetic learner
where they have to do things to understand what they’re doing, and you’re
trying to do everything visually for them and saying jump on this Zoom meeting.
Let’s have a Zoom meeting. Let’s go on there. I’ll show this, this, this and
that. Let’s go and do your web access, do your go-to meetings, do things like
that. When I go tell you to do that for certain people, they can’t do that.
Certain people don’t learn that way. And it’s up to me to find out with those
people exactly what it is that they need from me and how to present it to them
so that I own the relationship.
So I will communicate, I will look for what I call a “feedback
loop” and I’ve mentioned it previously. The Feedback Loop is I will say to
them, can you tell me what I just explained to you? To make sure that I was
clear. And now you’re going to get them to explain back what you just said and
then they realized… at that point in time you realized, wow I’m so not
communicating in their language. There is something I’m missing. And instead of
saying they’re an idiot, it’s their fault. I know in the automotive space we
go, that guy is a jack, he didn’t get it. He’s just wasting my time. That’s not
true.
How many real estate clients are you sitting with, where
you’re talking to them, when you’re going through stuff and you can tell they
don’t click. It’s a couple. They don’t click together and then of course you’re
not going to click with one of the two of them or both of them. But you’re
sitting there going, your communication problems aren’t my problems. This is
all on you. Guess what, that’s a fail. You’re not going to sell. I’d rather sit
down and figure out how they need me to present to them so that they could
learn and get to the point of making intelligent decision. I need to sit down
and provide them every opportunity for them to make a decision that is
intelligent based on their feeling, based on their logic so that it benefits
them the most. And if I take the time to say I own this relationship, then I
can change what I’m doing.
Instead of sitting back and say, well that’s not what I
meant and it’s their fault for taking it that way. And how many times have you
heard that? How many times have you said that in your relationship? How many
times have you sit down with a customer or if you have a customer relations
team that follows up with people that didn’t buy from you, which is a great
tool to have out there because again it’s going to give you feedback that you
can build off of. And I already know you want feedback because you’re listening
to this podcast or watching the video. You want to know how to do better. But
I’m going to tell you right now own the relationship. Stop putting the
responsibility of the other person to be part of it.
I will tell you, when I train, when I go into companies and
I sit down and train their sales department. When I sit with them, I own the
understanding of the student. I own it. I don’t just sit back and go, well
you’re difficult and that’s who you are. I will change the way I adapt. I will
tell you, sitting down, there’s a way I have to communicate to my wife. There’s
a way I have to communicate to my daughter. I have three boys and I have to
communicate with them differently so that they understand it. When I sit down
in a group setting to teach somebody, I know there are certain things I have to
do physically, there’s certain things I have to write and present to, there’s certain
things I have to say to get everybody in that room to understand what it is I’m
doing, and I will seek understanding from each and every one of them, and not
just label one and say that’s a problem.
I went to a company the other day, I sat down, I did a
personality testing. Four different personalities. Almost every test you go
through except for the Myers Briggs test which has like 57 different
categories, but most personalities break you up into four different categories
and I want to go into details on another podcast but when you start to realize
there’s four different categories. So when I sit down and I put it up on the
board and I take 30 minutes and I explain each and every one of them, and how
they react and who they are and what they are. And everybody in the room, the
light starts going on and going on. And I got one sitting in front of the room
and his arms folded across his head, and on his chest and he’s got his feet
stretched out right in front of them. He’s just sitting there and again, that’s
not body language part. That’s just the fact that’s how he sits comfortably.
But I know he’s just staring at me like I’m less than intelligent.
And I just sit back and I look at him and I go, can you find
yourself on this wheel? Out of the four? Nope I’m not there. Oh okay. And why
do you say that? And I sat down and work with this person. Went back and forth
and back forth and I said, well look, this is who you are because everything
you’re telling me leads me this way. And let me tell you what you’re going to
say next. You’re going to say this, this and this. And then you’re going to try
and justify it by saying this, this and this. And I’m going to answer you with
this and I went four steps in the argument ahead of where we were. And he just put
his head down and started laughing. And I said, I’m sorry, did I nail it? And
he goes, yeah that’s exactly what would have happened. And I said so how come
you can’t see yourself on the wheel if I could find you on the wheel. And I
could play out everything that’s going to happen in the next four steps. And he
still looks at me and goes, I don’t see myself on there. And I said, you hold
on to that. And that’s your desire to be that person. And I’m okay because on
that wheel, being difficult is one of the personalities that’s out there.
So look at it, there it is and you just got to hold on to
the fact that you want to be extra difficult and say you’re not there. I own
it. I’m okay. Just put it on like a jacket. If it fits that’s great. But if I
found you on the wheel, that means what? You’re on it. And I will tell you,
after that point, that person relaxed, went through… actually jutted down a
couple of notes. It was really strange to everybody I the room. Because nobody
else was fighting me. Everybody else was like, oh my gosh this is great stuff.
Oh I learned so much. Oh look I can see this, now I can see who this person is,
this person, this person and this person. And everybody around the room, I
walked them through from the front of the room exactly how to find themselves
and what to look for. And they were like, wow that’s great. And I said now that
you know who you are, can you see other people and see how they are?
Let’s talk about who everybody is in the room and I showed
everybody who is in the room, had them explain themselves they went through,
and they were like, wow. That makes a difference. And I said so now, realize
it's not as important for you to be you when you’re dealing with a prospect.
It’s important for you to be who the prospect need you to be. Come on write
that down. Say it back to me. It is more important for you to be who the
prospect needs you to be so that you can make a sale. It is not important who
you are. And as soon as you can check that ego out of the way, if you take your
ego. Ego stands for Edging Grows Out of the deal. If you do that, realize, hey
that’s what I need to do to be here, and I’m not saying be fake. I’m saying hey
we all have the personality parts in this. Use the part matches who your
prospect is and communicate to them in a way that they understand.
So stop going for me being right and
it’s very difficult for me because my whole family thinks I’m always right. But
what I want you to do is understand that you need to adapt yourself to apply
what you have for the client to understand. Own the relationship with your
spouse, with your kids, with your friends, with the people you work with in the
office. And especially with your prospects and your existing clients. Own the
relationship and watch how much shorter that window becomes instead of you just
picking up the phone and trying to find as many clients that you can say are
like you so they can buy from you. I’d say why don’t we just adapt to everybody
and take a bigger piece of the pie. And that’s going to be another one called
Beyond the 25%. So be on a lookout for that one. As always I appreciate you and
thanks for stopping back by to learn how to close more deals today. Thanks.
#salesgenius #thesalesgenius #ingraminteractive #howtosellmore #moredeals #moremoney #morehappy #thebdcgenius #thisisphonetraining #thisisinternettraining #socialmedia #automotive #real estate #mortgage #relationships #communication #genius #joe ingram
#salesgenius #thesalesgenius #ingraminteractive #howtosellmore #moredeals #moremoney #morehappy #thebdcgenius #thisisphonetraining #thisisinternettraining #socialmedia #automotive #real estate #mortgage #relationships #communication #genius #joe ingram
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